I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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