Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
