i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think your dad took our porno
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
