She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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