My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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