is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
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I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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