I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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