I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
