this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
