You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Houston, we have a squirter
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
