Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
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Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
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She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize