bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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