FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
