Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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