Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.

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  (415): She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver. http://tfl.nu/1xbw
  Replies (39) Good night (942) Bad night (4495)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.

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  (419): The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song. http://tfl.nu/rv8e
  Replies (38) Good night (9154) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night

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  (301): Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night http://tfl.nu/wbgo
  Replies (15) Good night (4448) Bad night (620)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.

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  (906): The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock. http://tfl.nu/nnn9
  Replies (6) Good night (838) Bad night (3591)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school

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  (630): Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school http://tfl.nu/domf
  Replies (19) Good night (7133) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.

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  (828): Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious. http://tfl.nu/m393
  Replies (15) Good night (7005) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

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  (512): dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf http://tfl.nu/h3mw
  Replies (33) Good night (2046) Bad night (6114)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.

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  (925): I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard. http://tfl.nu/47cs
  Replies (13) Good night (3285) Bad night (1512)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze

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  (912): Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze http://tfl.nu/0gjr
  Replies (13) Good night (4577) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.

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  (718): I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra. http://tfl.nu/riuo
  Replies (4) Good night (2255) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.

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  (414): This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick. http://tfl.nu/x6x1
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (1095)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.

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  (412): Dude, it's not gay. It's winter. http://tfl.nu/4ls1
  Replies (11) Good night (989) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere

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  (910): She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere http://tfl.nu/frtj
  Replies (8) Good night (1673) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!

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  (787): Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud! http://tfl.nu/y0cl
  Replies (3) Good night (1140) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up

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  (503): He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up http://tfl.nu/b7lo
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (346)

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