I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
