The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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