no you cant smoke seaweed
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
