I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
