her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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