i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
