Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
