Moan for me like Helen Keller
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
