yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Randomize
