Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
