Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
do herpes really smell.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Randomize