Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
