Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
