I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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