shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
