The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
