when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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