You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
