Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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