Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize