you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
