I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i dont even know how to be here
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Randomize
