"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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