Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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