whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
