You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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