I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize