It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
