Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize