Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
