WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
