Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
