Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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