I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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