Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
