Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Brb crying the tears of my youth
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
