We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
