before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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