I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
