dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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