The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Your shirt... Was in my pants
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
