Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
