Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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