I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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