I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm always down for nudity.
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