i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
