my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
