sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When are your genitals available?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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